BLOG: Take Charge & Surrender for Awesome Intimacy

Subtle Yet Super Sexy

After over a decade of getting it on with my husband, one night something happened that was VERY different.

We had always had a pretty great sexlife (and thanks to our 90 Day Games, it just kept getting better and better over the years), yet what was happening between us in that moment was sexy, powerful and HOT in a whole NEW way!

I couldn’t figure out WHY or WHAT it was that was different, but I was loving it so much I let my mind go and just went with it. This was NOT the time for asking questions or even thinking for that matter.

The subtle yet super sexy dynamic was a current I wanted to get swept up into. I was utterly enraptured.

What Was THAT?!

Post Orgasmic Chill

As my beloved and I laid there in our post orgasmic chill, I asked “What was THAT?!”.

“Oh you noticed.” he said.

“I learned it from Alex. And it’s simple. Sexy too isn’t it?”

He actually winked. We both laughed, but then I pressed him to explain what the hell had just happened.

Alex, a dear friend, (and a genius at masculine sexual energy coaching), was interviewed on our show, Fights Clean, Sex Dirty TV to give us his top tips, tools and techniques for keeping it hot and sexy.

This was the one interview I had ever missed, (as I had to be on a plane at the time of filming), but WOW did I get A LOT out of that one!)

Butting of Heads & Passive Pauses

My husband and I, like many couples had experienced power struggles in the past. Sometimes, that dynamic would spill into the bedroom.

There could at times be conflicting energies and interests at work – at ODDS really. He’d want one thing while I’d want another. There’d be moments of conflicting desires pushing up against each other in an energetic butting of heads.

Or sometimes it would be the reverse. There wouldn’t be enough tension. There would be these passive pauses that felt more awkward than sexy. I’d be waiting for him to lead and he’d be wanting me to take charge.

sexy follow the leader

Rich & Refined Resonance

When I pressed for more details about the delight I had just experienced, he elaborated about this unleashed intimacy.

Often when it comes to sex, a woman, (or a man), wants to be taken, yet she also wants to trust and surrender to her beloved’s desires.

One of the ways to build not only trust, but also create a rich and refined resonance between you, is to align yourself in rhythm to your beloved’s energy, interests and actions.

This means looking for and FOLLOWING the subtle signals from your partner about when you should LEAD and when you should LISTEN.

Follow Their Energy

When your beloved leads by moving their body in a certain way or saying something they want… follow their lead.

The moment your beloved shifts into neutral energy and there’s an on-ramp for receptivity, go with that. Lean in and lead where this love making can go. Get directive with your desires!

By avoiding being simultaneously assertive or passive and by maintaining a complimentary contrast in your desirous dynamic, you build the kind of tension that titillates you rather than tires you.

Keep an eye out for that moment when they will shift AGAIN and they will look to lead the interlude in their own way. When they do, surrender and go with it. Support their sultry self expression.

Woman sitting man holding thigh and pulling necklace For Better Love FBL Take Charge & Surrender for Awesome Intimacy Blog

Follow their path to pleasure and you’ll find yours there as well.

Stay vigilant.

At ANY moment your beloved will shift yet AGAIN and be receptive to your rapture. Go for it and get in on that awesome opportunity to instigate in your own way again.

This play of energies is a wonderful way to reset your masculine/feminine polarity. The point is to make sure your energies are aligned. When they lead, follow them. Then LISTEN for the opening for you to get directive with your desires.

Turn the Tables

While it only takes one person using this tool to make things wonderful, two can play this Game!

If you’re both on board with this passionate practice, then try switching it up with who is following whose desires.

Playing following the leader has never been so much fun!

Awesome Advances in Ecstatic Intimacy

Woman on table kissing man For Better Love FBL Take Charge & Surrender for Awesome Intimacy Blog

Knowing when to take charge and when to surrender is a subtle yet super sexy skill that can lead to awesome advances in ecstatic intimacy.

Put an end to apathy and average interludes. Up-level your love-life today.

Play this Game or make up your own. Just get in the Game for creating the most PLAYFUL, PEACEFUL and PASSIONATE relationship possible.

Let’s play passion!

    OPTION A: Share this blog with your beloved. Invite them to play a game of
    sexy follow the leader as described above. Take turns with who leads and
    who follows. Enjoy the exploration.

    OPTION B: Don’t say anything about this blog or what you’re doing before
    or as you’re doing it. Just wait for the next time, (or CREATE the next time!),
    for some  sexy-time. Then practice surrendering into your beloved when
    they are directive and shift into being directive when they are passive. Enjoy
    the exploration BONUS: Do a Romp Recap later!

Your Ally in Aiming for Awesome,

gaby and raj

1. Jasmine

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