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Get to know Gaby and Raj and what makes them a credible couple to listen to.  Find out a bit about who they are, what For Better Love is about and build confidence in who you get your relationship council from.

Find out

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What WE believe in

We want to let you in on our dirty little secret. Well, maybe we don’t WANT to, as it is embarrassing, still we will because we care and want couples to enjoy each other, day-to-day, for years to come. Sure, Raj and I are now happier, having more play, peace and passion in our relationship than EVER, still, we had some pretty dark, tough, LONG days early on in our relationship.


Our Dirty Little Secret

It most certainly was NOT always so playful, peaceful or passionate. In many ways it was downright PAINFUL. We both shared a strong sense that something felt VERY RIGHT to be together, yet we were so different, we argued A LOT and our fights got embarrassing or ugly WAY too easily, and WAY too often. As hard as it is to admit, our relationship was SO shaky, that at our engagement party, one of our closest friends sat us down and said… "I don't think you should do this. It looks pretty messy to me from here."

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Image Credit: Doctaclub

our engagement party

It was supposed to be one of the happiest days of our lives, full of celebration and well wishes and yet there Raj and I were, getting cautioned by our friend to RECONSIDER! Why would he say that? Well, I’d say Raj and my relationship was volatile, but the upsets were WAY too predictable for that to be true. Raj and I were at the end of our rope. We were so close to throwing in the towel and completely calling it quits.


Our wake up call

Our friend questioning our engagement was a huge WAKE UP call for us. Raj and I decided to use all that pain and frustration we were going through to learn about navigating conflict and what made relationships soar rather than sink. We did tons of research, did a ridiculous amount of reading, went to what seemed like one too many workshops, and had plenty of our own “learning opportunities” – until we figured it out! We discovered we had been doing everything SO WRONG. We had been dissecting our problems and complaints trying to figure it out and “fix it”. And it WASN’T working.

couples hand holding a heart
Image Credit: Monica Claire

Look at us now

Yet we were determined to have an awesome marriage. Divorce or a dull default marriage sounded horrible, painful, like a slow death. We committed to taking action to get clear about exactly what we wanted, (as opposed to focusing on our complaints and all that we did NOT want) and what it would take to get there. We’ve come a LONG way since that humbling engagement party, and now friends and strangers want to know what the Secret Sauce is to our marriage. In fact, the whole reason Raj and I are even working in the relationship education world is because for years, people kept asking us to do it.

Gaby and Raj Sundra

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Joshua Home

New York Times

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New York Times

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4 Cornerstones

The 4 Cornerstones of For Better Love create a foundation to thrive in. Focus on these four areas and love works. It not only works, it rocks! Ignore them and you and your relationship will pay the price.

playful relationship


Bring PLAY to inspire your joy. Lean into love by engaging, exploring and lightening up a little. Having a playmate makes love and life delightful instead of dull.

peaceful relationship


Bring PEACE to deepen your partnership. Create habits for taming tensions and nixing negativity. Having your love life be a sanctuary is soothing and even healing.

passionate relationship


Bring PASSION to evolve your intimacy. Whether it’s having inspiring goals together or sparking best-ever-sexy-time, embracing a path to passion is a perk.

proactive relationship


Bring being PRO-ACTIVE to up-level everything. No matter if it is play, peace or passion, being proactive about your relationship is a powerful practice.

Cirque de Soleil
Image Credit: Corteo

Our History

Palo Alto, February 2006

First date, no photo. It was a blind date and they both had to be convinced. Gaby FLEW to San Francisco for it too. They went to a Cirque de Soleil show with his company as a celebration for meeting their 90 day goals. Perfect foreshadowing of the 90 Day Games they would both lead later on in life - Gaby with couples and Raj with companies. (Thanks Kate)

Gaby Sundra and Raj Sundra

Santa Barbara, February 2006

Second date, first photo. This time Raj flew to Santa Barbara. Gaby's dad just happened to be in town and took this shot. (Thanks Dad)

Black Rock City, August 2007

This photo may look peaceful, but it wasn't always this peaceful between them. At their engagement party, Gaby and Raj were pulled aside by a friend who said, "I don't think you two should get married. It looks pretty messy to me from here." Ouch. That hurt. But it sparked an adventure for turning a messy relationship into a magnificent one. (Thanks Ibrahim)

Gaby Sundra and Raj Sundra

Santa Barbara, 2008

Even on the day they got married, there were still questions. Gaby's dad asked her joking, not joking, "Hey, that door's open. Do you want to just get out of here?"  Gaby & Raj WERE clear, but it was NOT clear to others that this would work out. Not by a long shot.

Gaby Sundra and Raj Sundra

San Francisco, August 2012

After being together for five years, people started to notice how good things were getting between them and soon, Gaby and Raj were asked to speak at a relationship summit. This is the first time they spoke together. (Thanks Bryan and Jennifer)

Gaby Sundra and Raj Sundra

Santa Barbara, May 2013

They brought together their super powers for love and created a map for them and other couples to follow. They shifted their relationship path from a "problem pathologizing" as adversaries one to one as allies where they pursue a playful, peaceful, passionate relationship. Aiming for awesome became their motto.

Relationship Fun and Games

February 2014

After years of people asking, Gaby & Raj finally started a company for couples. They asked people how what they did was different and people said it was fun and playful. And Relationship Fun & Games was born. (Thanks Ali)

Gaby Sundra

Santa Barbara, March 2018

Married for a decade, they renewed their vows honoring their love as well as Raj's Indian heritage. That's Gaby's dad officiating the ceremony! (Thanks Dad)

For Better Love

Sequim, 2020

A friend wanted to introduce Gaby & Raj to some media outlets but said "I don't want to have to put lipstick on a pig." Ouch again! But they took the coaching and got to work and soon For Better Love was born. (Thanks Julia)

gaby and raj

This is Gaby & Raj after dancing for five hours at the wedding of the very same friend who first cautioned them about how messy their relationship appeared. It's been 16 years now and they're just getting started. They've made Love Better their motto and are brining it to life daily!

The Individuals Behind the Couple and Company

They make a great team, but their solo game is gold too. Get to know about the man behind the woman and the woman behind the man.

Gaby Sundra

While she has a Masters degree in Education, Counseling and Guidance and 25 years of coaching and teaching experience, it is Gaby Sundra’s own “messy-to-magical” marriage that allows her relationship guidance to be so spot on. Her innovative methods are fiercely forward focused, gently shifting any negativity into concrete action steps. She’s a wiz at supporting couples in not just digging themselves out of a relationship ditch, but cultivating a couple culture of "aiming for awesome".

Raj Sundra

Raj values intention, vision and continuous improvement. Known as the “Energizer Bunny of transformation”, his thirst for knowledge that truly matters, has led him from a Master’s Degree at Cornell University to decades of ongoing personal development to countless courses and workshops as well as a ridiculous amount of research in books and in life itself. He's an athlete in body, mind and spirit as he strives for ease, excellence and growth. He loves soccer, cycling and scaling companies.

Relationship is more important to me than anything else

My husband, as my best friend, lover, housemate, business partner (we run not one, but two companies together) and playmate in global community contribution, is my closest and most important relationship.So I’ve invested a lot of my life in learning just what makes an awesome relationship and what will doom you to a dull or default relationship. Because let’s be honest, when you relationship sucks, no matter what else is going great, then your life sucks. And when everything in your life seems to be falling apart, if your relationship is rock solid, then everything seems more manageable.With all the stressors of life and love, and knowing that stress is a killer, I’ve made it my mission to make sure that we have the best relationship possible and that we share what we have learned with others too!

Optimism – My dad says I am always “looking for the pony in the horse poop”. I accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative in every way I can.

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Fun – It took me along time to admit that fun was one of my highest values. But once I did, my life just worked and of course, was a lot more fun. Exercise (which I hated) became fun, learning became fun, I even found a way to make resolving conflict fun.

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Growth – If I am not embarrassed by who I was six months ago, I am not growing enough. I love learning and putting obstacles in the past. I fail fast and grow with gratitude.

Infinite adjustment with the touch of a hand.

Contribution – A life worth living is a life worth sharing. We all have so much wisdom and joy to offer each other. And the magic of people coming together to create something larger than themselves is deeply inspiring to me. I have been an organizer of organizations, a fan of creating circles of friends, and eager to unleash awesome events and ideas into the world. One of my favorite secret powers is being a “connector”.

Infinite adjustment with the touch of a hand.

Masters degree in Education, Counseling & Guidance.

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Life long engaged and eager learner – Oh the workshops I have been to, books I have read, webinars I have participated in!

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Community Organizer – started the local chapter of the Grow Food Party Crew; Facilitator, Train the Trainer and Regional Coordinator for The Pachamama Alliance and the Awakening the Dreamer, Changing the Dream Symposium; and lead organizer of our Burning Man camp for a decade.

Infinite adjustment with the touch of a hand.

Counseled hundreds of people and couples on how to get clear on what they want (rather than complaining about what they don’t want), on how to build habits around following through on what they said they wanted, and on turning impossible dreams into awesome realities. One of Raj and my favorite expressions we like to say is “Pigs CAN fly!”

Infinite adjustment with the touch of a hand.

Awesome relationships are access to awesome life

I see this equation – LOVING MY LIFE = LOVING MY RELATIONSHIP.In some sense, my drive for having awesome relationships in my life – especially my marriage – is selfish. I do the work on my relationships so that I can love my life. Interestingly enough, my relationship with Gaby more and more helps me get out of a ME/MINE mindset and into a mindset of what supporting people in having great relationships can do for others out there in the world (she is much less selfish than I am in this regard!).She has helped me see that there is no greater gift to others than providing them access to having a fantastically great… a playful, peaceful, passionate, P3 Relationship. The more people that are loving their life – the happier we all are – which ultimately leads to an awesome happy human presence on the planet.

Happiness – Happiness has been something that I have worked on since the time I was born. You see, I am half Indian, and (if you have noticed in my pictures) I don’t look very Indian! And so the story begins that when I came out, my dad was perplexed and did not embrace that I was his son. Now, my dad was an awesomely loving and charismatic man – and no fault to him, I took on a story that “there is something wrong with me.” More than that I generated a story that there is something wrong in general – like a set of colored lenses to see life through. Over the past 15 years, I have gotten crystal clear that while there are many things not working in the world, I have got it pretty darn great – yet still a nagging view of something is wrong. It is because I so clearly know how great I have it – juxtaposed with this sense of something being wrong, that I know that Happiness is always within our grasp. And most everything I do in life has an overarching filter of “is this making me happy?” I value happiness tremendously – and this is one of the things that drives me to do the work it takes to have a off-the-charts happy marriage with Gaby.

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Perfection – Along with my “there is something wrong here” story – is inextricably linked value on perfection. For many years, I considered this a problem – as nothing is ever really perfect. But, a continuous striving for perfection – is a huge driver for me in my life. By “perfection” I mean that which looks great, feels great, works great. While more and more I grasp that perfection is in the “what isness” of life – I will always be driven by the question – what would make this even-better-if… (which I hated) became fun, learning became fun, I even found a way to make resolving conflict fun.

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Accomplishment – I am an achiever through and through. Whether I am working madly, or on vacation – my soul is nurtured by accomplishment.

Infinite adjustment with the touch of a hand.

Visionary – I am always asking myself “What if…” Possibilities of what the future may hold fascinate and excite me. I am a dreamer who sees visions of what could be.

Infinite adjustment with the touch of a hand.

Masters degree from Cornell University in Mechanical Engineering and Biomechanics – with a minor in education.

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Head of Product Development – Speck Products
From 2002 to 2006, I co-led the founding and rapid growth of Speck Products. Through creativity, intelligence, and hard work, we rapidly grew Speck Products generating $3 million in sales in the first year, to $22 million in sales by the fourth year. Co-led Speck Products to rank #41 on Inc 500’s Fastest Growing Private Company’s List – 2006.

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Founder and CEO – Transformance Business Consulting
A high performance Triple Bottom Line business strategy can be difficult to establish, and often results in significant amounts of wasted money and dissatisfied stake and shareholders. Transformance Business Consulting’s Triple Bottom Line System weaves a well-designed triple bottom line strategy of generating results, growing your employees, and giving back to the communities and environments in which you do business – into the fabric of your company. The result is a healthy, motivating work culture that profits your pocket, your people, and your planet.

Infinite adjustment with the touch of a hand.

Founder – World Peace Through Sports
Our mission is to leverage the passion and power of sports to unite businesses, youth and causes in mutually beneficial partnerships that achieve lasting transformation in the world. What we start with at the local community level scales exponentially to the global community level resulting in a sustainable system of support for businesses, youth, and causes – and a sustainable future for our planet.

Infinite adjustment with the touch of a hand.

Cross-Country skied at the national level for 8 years of my life. What an amazing adventure with one of the toughest sports on the planet!

Infinite adjustment with the touch of a hand.

Played Semi-Pro Soccer in the Bay Area as my final efforts in top-level sports competition. In many ways, I would never have met Gaby if I did not play soccer because I came to California originally to play soccer!

Infinite adjustment with the touch of a hand.

Having an amazing marriage with one of the most amazing women on the planet.

Infinite adjustment with the touch of a hand.