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Live and love from a clear vision of what you want, THEN look at the “problems” ONLY as to how they might get in the way of what you really want.
Wouldn't it be easier, more enjoyable and so much less draining to focus on SOLUTIONS rather than getting "stuck in the muck" or dissecting dramas?
Can you imagine the difference in your relationship and day to day life if you were focused as allies aiming for awesome rather than adversaries at odds over every little thing?
When one beloved blames, the other beloved defends. It’s relationship math. Then you’re on a slippery slope that can easily turn a misunderstanding or bad day into a messy fight with deep and lasting impact.
You can INVEST in INTIMACY with a forward focus by a
For Better Love Marriage Map.
ENOUGH "problem pathologizing". Embark on a step-by-step, super-supported adventure that will keep you focused on what you want and stop you from wasting your finite energy on arguing about everything you DON’T want.
The problems will get handled. Just from a different perspective - as obstacles to the actual goal, not the problems being the focus themselves.
Blaming, shaming, complaining and criticising
Your communication pulls you apart and sets you up as adversaires
Fears and frustrations fill your day (the fights are “dirty”)
Not hot for each other (the sex is “clean” or not even happening)
Don’t care much about each other’s happiness / winning is for one
Feeling unsafe, unaccepted or unappreciated
Not trusting each other
Sadness and hopelessness over the state of your relationship
Others notice the quality of your love - your relationship is a source of embarrassment. (“That” couple)
Don’t like each other or your life very much
Problem solving is a natural byproduct of your efforts
Your communication brings you together and sets you up as allies
The fights are “clean”
You’re hot for each other and the sex is “dirty”
You care about each other’s happiness - It’s win-win or no deal
You feel safe to express yourself fully and to be fully accepted.
You feel seen, heard, appreciated and cared about.
You trust each other.
Others notice the quality of your love - your relationship is a source of inspiration. (“It” couple)
You don’t just love each other, you like each other and your life
Identify your ideal individual relationship vision, see where your ideals align, then build a map and set meaningful goals. Then play full out to make them a reality.
Blaming, shaming, complaining and criticizing
Communication pulls you apart and sets you up as adversaries
Fears and frustrations fill your day (the fights are “dirty”)
You’re turned off more than on - the sex is “clean” or not happening
You don’t care much about each other’s happiness - winning is for one
You feel unsafe, unaccepted or suppressed with each other.
You feel unseen, dismissed, unappreciated or uncared for.
You lose trust in each other and break connection together.
Your relationship is a source of embarrassment - You’re “That” couple
You get sad and hopeless over the state of your relationship and life
